We can't deny that there are some
fundamental differences between men and women -- from how we are socialized to
the chemical and hormonal differences that naturally occur. Thus, I thought it
appropriate to follow up with a post on the difference between dating a girl
vs. a woman. Again, many points on this post would apply if you switched the
genders around.
A boy is attracted to girls. A man is attracted to women.
Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I'm referring to
maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of
their age, will never really grow up. Also, this isn't to say that a woman
won't ever have "girlish" or immature tendencies or vice versa. This
post refers to one's maturity and most points would also apply if you switch
the genders as well.
If you are a boy, then expect that you will attract only
girls. However, if you are a man (independent, knows your worth and value, has
a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn't let
insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a woman. And if you
can't spot the difference just yet, here are some pointers:
1. A girl throws tantrums. When displeased, upset or angry,
she reacts just as she did as a child when she didn't get her way with her
parents. This often consists of screaming, pouting, giving the silent
treatment, being passive aggressive and/or punishing. A woman still feels the
emotions of being upset/displeased, but has cultivated the skill of responding
versus reacting. She comes to the table as an adult, and communicates clearly
what is bothering her.
2. A girl perceives herself as a princess and believes
people should treat her like so. She is entitled and feels that she is owed and
therefore expects more than she appreciates. A woman, has standards (what she
holds herself to) not expectations (what she projects on to others).
3. A girl uses her physical beauty as her currency and basis
of value. A girl may be so used to feeling validated through her looks and
sexuality, that she uses this as her primary tool to get what she wants in
life. A woman, knows her worth is beyond her physicality. A woman bases her
value on her intelligence, her strength, her integrity, her values, her
contributions, her humanity.
4. A girl banks on a man to be her financial strategy. A
woman plans to be financially independent -- she banks on... herself. And if
she so happens to enter a relationship dynamic where it makes sense for her
partner to be the primary breadwinner, it's considered a bonus, not the
expected life line.
5. A girl sees the world from a place of lack and scarcity.
She competes and will even tear down another in order to secure resources or a
mate. A woman helps other women. She knows that there's plenty enough to go
around and takes the high road of integrity to get what she wants.
6. A girl cannot be bothered with anything domestic and is
proud of the fact that she cannot cook or clean. A woman understands that being
domestic is not a duty, but understands that it is one way of taking care of
herself and others. She also understands that in the event she wants to create
a family, having a person in the household who can contribute domestically is
important.
7. "A girl wants attention, a woman wants respect. A
girl wants to be adored by many. A woman wants to be adored by one."
-anonymous
8. A girl does not respect her body. She has not yet
understood that her body and heart are sacred, and that it's important to be
mindful of how she treats it and who she shares it with.
"A girl cherishes handbags, diamonds and her shoe
collection as her prize possessions. A woman cherishes her health, her sense of
self, and her talents as her greatest assets." - N. Mah
9. A woman takes the time to reflect on the type of human
she wants to be, the example she wants to leave and the vision for her life.
She has put thought into her values and what she stands for. A girl has not
established her moral compass or values and consequently, is often
inconsistent.
"After spending time with a girl, you feel exhausted
because she takes more than she gives. After spending time with a woman, you
feel invigorated, because she empowers you with possibility, and a passion for
life." - N. Mah
10. A girl has a checklist that prioritizes superficial
qualities above anything else. Here is an example of how this checklist may
look: Hot, popular, wears skinny jeans, over six feet tall, rich.. This is the
checklist of what a woman may look for: High integrity, intelligent, kind, good
communicator, emotionally available...
Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to
know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a mature woman,
or someone with an immature mindset. However, one of the quickest filters that
you can notice from the beginning is this:
11. A girl plays games. A woman doesn't.