THE SECRET TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE

A happy marriage doesn’t just arrive because you say “I do.” It takes effort from husband and wife to make it work. Here are six tips to help make it the most rewarding relationship you will ever have.

• In business, companies are only as successful as their leaders are. If a company has an ineffective leader, it’s ineffective. Take the example of Continental Airlines. They were considered the worst major airline in the United States at the end of the 1980s. However, in 1994 they hired Gordon Bethune as President, and by the year 2000 they were the best airline in the US (see From Worst to First by Gordon Bethune).
  That turnaround happened because of leadership. Likewise families are only as successful as their leaders are. As parents, we lead our families. Now we can’t fire children, but we can make sure that we are functioning well at the top.
  A happy marriage doesn’t just arrive because you say, “I do.” Instead, it takes effort from both husband and wife to make it work. Nevertheless, with some work and a lot of understanding, it can be the most rewarding relationship you will ever have. Where do you start? In the vast sea of relationship advice, it can be hard to know what the most important things are. We will share just five things that have mattered the most in our marriage.

• Put the other first

  Not second behind you. Not behind your children. Especially not behind your parents. First. That starts with putting aside or scaling back on some things that may have taken a lot of time before you were married, such as movies, sports, spending time with friends instead of your spouse, and video games. We know that can seem hard. At the same time, it quickly becomes second nature and more and more enjoyable. Sure, we still do enjoy some individual pursuits, and it’s healthy to do so. However, we never put the other second. One small thing we do in this area is whenever we are sharing something tasty, we always give the other person the first bite, the best bites, and the last bite. It is an easy way to show the other person that you care about their happiness/enjoyment more than your own.

• Give each other the benefit of the doubt

  This can be very hard. Your spouse is someone who loves, honors and cherishes you more than anyone else. As such, they can also be the person who wounds you the deepest. This is natural and expected. At the same time, because of that bond, we tend to paint each other in the worst light. You got angry with me for being home late? You must be trying to hurt me! You didn’t acknowledge me when I got home? Wounded to the core! Instead of immediately assuming the worst, try turning it around and asking if you would deliberately hurt your spouse by doing the same thing. Then let it go.

• Listen

  Men, this is especially directed at you. Your wives really want you to listen to them. We aren’t saying “acknowledge that your wife is speaking while you’re busy watching football and actually not hearing anything at all.” Listen to her. Stop what you are doing, look at her, and hear what she is saying. Listen so intently that you can actually give feedback and tell her what she is talking about. She doesn’t want you to solve her problems (in fact, she’d probably prefer that you don’t), she just wants to know you care and will help if needed.

• Spend time alone together

  Too often it’s easy to get into a routine where kids, friends, and media are your constant companions. Unplug, slip away, and reconnect with each other. We like to take one trip away every year, even if it’s just for a night or two.

• Don’t ever, ever, ever engage in “spouse bashing.” Ever. To anyone

  Women are most often the culprits on this one but men do it as well. This can cause SO much damage in a marriage. Many times you may think of it as “venting” or may do it because others are and you want to connect in some way. This is especially important when talking to your parents or other family members. Whether or not your spouse ever hears of what you say, it is hurtful and disloyal. If you are having problems in your marriage, discuss them with your spouse, a counselor, or you may possibly clear one other person with your spouse if need be (a best friend perhaps) but even then be careful what you say and how you say it. Loyalty is so important and trust once broken can be hard to earn back.

• Forgive

  There is an absolutely AMAZING book on forgiveness called Unconditional: The Call of Jesus to Radical Forgiveness by Brian Zahnd. In it he talks about how as Christians we are called to forgive and end the cycles of revenge. He states, “Forgiveness is not a feeling. Forgiveness is a choice.” As mentioned above, those we love have the most power to hurt us, intentionally or unintentionally, and because in marriage we are with each other day in and day out, those hurts can add up. Quickly. If we start taking score, constantly reminding each other of things we have done/not done, calling up things done years ago, we are not following the command to forgive and we can destroy our marriages. Forgiveness is not easy. It is not cheap. It is costly and it is difficult but if we are to truly be successful, not only in our marriages but in life, we can call on our Savior and He can help us forgive our spouses and remove the cancer of bitterness, anger, and revenge.

TEN POWERFUL LESSONS TO LEARN FROM THE 🐔HEN

 1. She first lays enough eggs before sitting on them
- GOOD PLANNING.

2. When she starts sitting on her eggs, she minimizes movements
- DISCIPLINE.

3. She physically loses weight while sitting on her eggs due to decreased feeding
- SACRIFICE AND SELF DENIAL.

4. She can sit on eggs from another hen
- INDISCRIMINATION AND GENEROSITY.

5. She sits on her eggs for twenty one (21) days, patiently waiting, even if they do not hatch, she will lay eggs again
- FAITH, HOPE AND NOT DISCOURAGED.

6. She detects unfertilised eggs and rolls them out
- SENSITIVE AND DISCERNING.

7. She abandons the rotten eggs and starts caring for the hatched chicks even if it is only one
- WISDOM, CONSCIOUSNESS, AND REALISTIC.

8. No one touches her chicks
- PROTECTIVE LOVE.

9. She gathers all her chicks together
- UNITY OF PURPOSE.

10. She cannot abandon her chicks before they mature
- MENTORSHIP.

NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR GOALS & DREAMS.
#iAmKlassik


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PREGNANCY: WHY MEN REACT THE WAY THEY DO

Someone asked me this question and I hope I'll be able to handle it klassikally.

"Do men feel like champions when they impregnant a gal and run away?"

Sometimes yes...sometimes it isnt their fault.

Lemme begin from this point...is it true that if a woman wants you, she'll do all it takes to have you by her side? It is also true that both men and women marry for different reasons. That could be love, wealth, desperation, ritual, etc.

If the reason they want to marry you is love, they'll give up upon rejection. If the reason is wealth or ritual, she'll scheme. Part of her scheme would be using juju, pregnancy and ultimately use blackmail.

Now for a man who is loved, he is safe...for that man who is being hunt for his wealth or rituals...kuna balaa (there is trouble). Why? The tool to be used will be pregnancy or juju... One will ask, but the man has a role to play in making the woman pregnant?!!? Yes he does. It is also true that only the woman knows her safe and unsafe days. It is also true that a woman rarely keeps a child of man she never wanted. This is maybe to avoid future complications...

So a scheming woman will do all it takes to have this man's child. At whatever cost. When this happens, the lady will demand that the dude takes full responsibility... 

She will go extra miles of even involving family, friends and even authority. In political science that is mobilising. She is just being a politician if not a macenary! 😂😂😂

Remember the guy was just having a thing with her and she knew it. But she was determined for whatever reason to own this man. Put yourself in this dude's shoes. Isn't it heavy?

Human beings react differently to situations. That is why we have heroes and cowards. So I wouldn't judge someone for accepting or rejecting forced responsibility. Why? Accepting would either make you a hero or a coward, depending with how you look at it. So is rejecting.

The question is...what is his intention? Teach her a lesson or cushion her from responsibility or protect her from emmbarrassment? Whatever the reason it is still valid. We are emotional beings. The most important part is how you handle it.

Your partner may not react to your good news in the same way as your girlfriends.  Your girlfriends jumped for joy when you told them your good news, so why did your partner barely look up from the newspaper? Men don't always react to pregnancy the way women do. While many are over-the-moon excited, particularly if the pregnancy is planned and happily anticipated, others are flooded with worries. The best way to help your partner feel more comfortable about your pregnancy is to understand that men and women often look at pregnancy differently. Don't criticize him if he doesn't react the way you think he should. Give him space to experience the pregnancy in his own way. There are often legitimate reasons for men's reactions; for example, consider the following:

This is on the flipside.....

First, Men can't experience the pregnancy the way you do. Sure, the man contributes half of the conception equation, but after supplying the sperm, the man's body is no longer part of the pregnancy. Both physically and emotionally you will feel more, from morning sickness and labour pains to first kicks and hiccups. Because of this, your partner may feel less attached to the pregnancy than you do, especially before you start to show. He may also feel left out because everyone is paying attention to you.

Secondly, Men worry, even if they don't tell you. Even if your partner doesn't mention it, he may be worrying about what pregnancy will do to your lives. He may feel anxious about upcoming expenses, your health insurance coverage, the pain that you'll feel during pregnancy or delivery, what life will be like with three rather than two, and the effects of pregnancy on your sex life. If you are planning to quit your job to stay home with your baby, he may feel more pressure because he'll be the sole breadwinner.

Lastly, Men question what type of dad they'll be. For some men, fatherhood is something they have looked forward to for years and feel well equipped to handle. Others may feel apprehensive. If a man was abused, abandoned, bullied, or ignored by his father, he may wonder whether he can be a good father to his child. He may fear that he will make the same mistakes his father made. Talk with him about his worries. Reassure him that you will work together to solve problems and that he'll most likely be an excellent father, even if his own father wasn't.

Mhhh. So If you find that pregnancy brings up issues that are too difficult for the two of you to handle on your own, talk with a social worker, marital counselor, or therapist. It's best to tackle these issues now, because after your baby is born, you?ll have less time and energy to focus on each other.

To the men that for some reason you were not comfortable about the pregnancy.....and chose to run away......go hold that baby in your arms. If you feel nothing at all, walk away. If you do, help that kid. Forget about set up...blackmail etc.

To the ladies..if deep down you know the relationship was not based on love but you still went ahead to bear his child, accept the reaction and move on. Being single does not make you less of a human being.

To all of us... dont we think children are a blessing? Aren't they cute especially if they have your face. (Wanaojipenda kama mimi).

To future parents, only the word of God can guide your ways to not fall into such a quagmire. Lets value and respect family.

Yours truly,

DON SANTO

The DON of dons

The Klassik Man

Samsung Addict

#iAmKlassik