What he valued most

A young man learns what's most important in life from the guy next door. It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across
the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing
could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Kokonya died last night. The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of  he fence' as he put it," Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Kokonya stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said.

"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time. 

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture,
every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said.

"What box? " Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I value most,'" Jack said.

It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Kokonya died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read. Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention.

"Mr. Fred Kokonya" it read.

Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside.

"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Muturi. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch. Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover.

Inside he found these words engraved: "Jack, Thanks for your time! Fred Kokonya."

"The thing he valued most...was...my time."

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Rhoda, his assistant asked.

"I need some time to spend with my son," he said.

"Oh, by the way, Rhoda...thanks for your time!"

The "W" in Christmas

Last December, I vowed to make Christmas a calm and peaceful experience.   I had cut back on nonessential obligations - extensive card writing, endless baking, decorating, and even overspending. Yet still, I found myself exhausted, unable to appreciate the precious family moments, and of course, the true meaning of Christmas.     
     
My son, Nicholas, was in kindergarten that year. It was an exciting season for a six year old. For weeks, he'd been memorizing songs for his school's "Winter Pageant."  I didn't have the heart to tell him I'd be working the night of the production. Unwilling to miss his shining moment, I spoke with his teacher.  She assured me there'd be a dress rehearsal the morning of the presentation.  All parents unable to attend that evening were welcome to come then.  Fortunately, Nicholas seemed happy with the compromise. 
                 
So, the morning of the dress rehearsal, I filed in ten minutes early,  found a spot on the cafeteria floor and sat down. Around the room, I saw  several other parents quietly scampering to their seats. As I waited, students were led into the room. Each class, accompanied by their teacher, sat cross-legged on the floor. Then, each group, one by one, rose to perform their song. Because the public school system had long stopped referring to the holiday as "Christmas," I didn't expect anything other than fun, commercial        entertainment - songs of reindeer, Santa Claus, snowflakes and good cheer.

So, when my son's class rose to sing, "Christmas Love," I was slightly taken aback by its bold title. Nicholas was aglow, as were all of his classmates, adorned in fuzzy mittens, red sweaters, and bright snowcaps upon their heads.  Those in the front row- center stage - held up large letters, one by one, to spell out the title of the song. As the class would sing "C is for Christmas," a child would hold up the  letter C. Then, "H is for Happy," and on and on, until each child holding up his portion had presented the complete message, "Christmas Love." 

The performance was going smoothly, until suddenly, we noticed her; a small, quiet, girl in the front row holding the letter "M" upside down -  totally unaware her letter "M" appeared as a "W".  The audience of 1st through 6th graders snickered at this little one's mistake. But she had no idea they were laughing at her, so she stood tall, proudly holding her "W".  Although many teachers tried to shush the children, the laughter continued until the last letter was raised, and we all saw it together.  A hush came over the audience and eyes began to widen. In that instant, we understood the reason we were there, why we celebrated the holiday in the first place, why even in the chaos, there was a purpose for our  festivities. For when the last letter was held high, the message read loud and clear:

"C H R I S T   W A S   L O V E"  
  
And, I believe, He still is.

One More Day with you

I'm so sad and depressed

Is all I want to do is rest

I go to sleep at night

But my dreams I just can't fight

I think of you lying in that bed

And wonder if there is anything I could have said

I wish you were still here

But I know that you are still near

I love you more than you know

I just wish you didn't have to go

I just want one more day with you

And I know thats what you would have wanted too

I miss you more and more each day

There is so much more we had to say

I know I will see you again

But my life is just started to begin.

How a Luo would have said it

Upon taking his lunch at a hotel, he places two, one thousand shilling notes on top of the receipt and heads out....
Waiter; hey sir!
Luopean; yes?
Waiter; you are leaving before....
Luopean; omera kwani dasani siku hizi siyo twenty bob? Waliongesa bei lini?
Waiter; that's what i was saying! Ur leaving before taking your change!
Luopean; ah, kwani how much did i give you....2 thousand? O-o-oh, nkt, i thought i gave you two ten silling coins...i sud buy contact glassess! anyway, just take those and convert them into twenty sillings...
Waiter; b..bu..but how?!
Luopean; i dont know buana! U can cancel the two zeroes on each note! Sina coins yawa!
RUOR!

Romantic

Isn't it romantic how the chrysalids land on the ice cubes in our drink to wink with sunlight and time for the dawning double blind Isn't it romantic how wings unborn are worn to be torn from our aesthetic interpretation Isn't it romantic that we should be so kind as to blind as to bind each other belieing bespeak betraying Isn't it romantic that we should drink such potion to spite foreknowledge of death innate insecurity feigning Isn't it romantic how the oils shift smudge to smear coupling seething suppling searing precious delicate contours How I miss your words tender as tobacco upon mine morning, mourning throat how I miss your voice stillborn butterflies in the ears of compassion unsettling clouds dim-lit dawning drawing painting... But how the butterflies defy and fly how the butterflies in the face of formal whims and wanton whys cry Isn't it romantic that we could be so superficial, civil in lovingly lavish clasp 'lusive grasp Isn't it romantic that we were so resolute in absolute pressing persuasion and parched for passion that we might seek such vision of void head-long and strong that we might belong The chrysalids are daimon diamonds The chrysalids are daimon diamonds Isn't it romantic?

10 ways how a woman should treat her man...

Here’s what I’ve learned so far from the relationships that I’ve been in and also watching others in relationships. Please feel free to comment especially if I left anything out. 

10. Whether it’s time alone or time to spend with buddies, give your man space. Just like girls need their space, so do men. It’s a form of regenerating. They’ll appreciate it. 

9. Try to never contradict or embarrass him in front of his friends, co-workers, or family. That can be very emasculating. Sometimes you might have to really bite your tongue, but you can talk to him later when you’re both alone and it’ll show that you respect him. 

8. Do not nag him. If he doesn’t want to change on his own accord, your nagging is only going to push him away. Evaluate the seriousness of the problem. If you feel it’s pretty important that you bring an issue up...then do so. Afterwards leave it alone. Except that he may try, but not be able to make it perfect. Continue to compliment him on the effort. Set non-verbal examples. See what follows. 

7. Never, ever talk badly about your man. Whatever fight you had, it’s between you two. Don’t tell your girlfriends, your boss, or God forbid, your mother. 

6. Let him be a man, so he can treat you like a lady. Let him open the doors for you, pay for meals, protect you...etc. etc. It’ll make him feel good. 

5. No cheating and no flirting. Without trust, a relationship is worthless. If you find yourself wanting to do either, then you must ask yourself why you’re still in the relationship. 

4. Listen first, and then talk. Let him finish what he has to say before you interrupt. Ask questions if you’re not sure about what he said. 

3. Don’t expect it to be all about you. Appreciate all the things he does- big or small. Do nice things for him too. 

2. Leave your excess emotional baggage behind. For example, just because your ex-boyfriend cheated doesn’t mean this one will. Give your man a chance. Another example, just because you’ve loved once doesn’t mean you can’t love again. Be open to forming an exciting new love story. If you can’t move on from your past love...then what are you doing in a new relationship right now. Rebound. 

1. Take care of yourself. Emotionally and physically. Don’t place your friends and family on the back burner when it comes to your relationship. Same goes for hobbies and interests. It can be tempting in new romances to want to spend every minute with the guy, but give your man a kiss and say you’ll be back in a few hours. Also, don’t get too comfortable with your guy by getting lax on the way you dress ( i.e. sweat pants all the time ) and personal hygiene ( i.e. not shaving your legs )...haha gross. You’re guy will appreciate it.

Saudi crown prince dies abroad after illness

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RIYADH, Saudi Arabia (AP) — The heir to the Saudi throne, Crown Prince Sultan bin Abdel Aziz Al Saud, died abroad Saturday after an illness, state TV said. The death of the 85-year-old prince opens questions about the succession in the critical, oil-rich U.S. ally.

Sultan was the half-brother of Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah, who is two years older than him and has also been ailing and underwent back surgery last week.

The most likely candidate to replace Sultan as Abdullah's successor is Prince Nayef, the powerful interior minister in charge of internal security forces. After Sultan fell ill, the king gave Nayef — also his half-brother — an implicit nod in 2009 by naming him second deputy prime minister, traditionally the post of the second in line to the throne.

The announcement did not say where outside the kingdom Sultan died or elaborate on his illness but Saudi official circles in Riyadhsaid he passed away at a hospital in New York. According to a leaked U.S. diplomatic cable from January 2010, Sultan had been receiving treatment for colon cancer since 2009.

Sultan, who was the kingdom's deputy prime minister and the minister of defense and aviation, has had a string of health issues. He underwent surgery in New York in February 2009 for an undisclosed illness and spent nearly a year abroad recuperating in the United States and at a palace in Agadir, Morocco.

"It is with deep sorrow and grief that the Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques King Abdullah bin Abdel Azizi Al Saud mourns the loss of his brother and Crown Prince His Royal Highness Prince Sultan Abdel Aziz Al Saud," the palace said. The statement, which was carried on the official Saudi Press Agency, added that Sultan's funeral will be held on Tuesday afternoon in Riyadh at the Imam Turki bin Abdullah mosque.

For the first time, however, the mechanism of picking the nextcrown prince is not entirely clear.

It is possible the king will for the first time put the decision of his heir to the Allegiance Council, a body Abdullah created a decade ago as one of his reforms, made up of his brothers and nephews with a mandate to determine the succession.

That would open the choice up to a degree of debate with the top echelons of the royal family. Nayef, however, will still be the front-runner.

Traditionally the king names his successor. But Abdullah formed the council in order to modernize the process and give a wider voice to the choice. When it was created, it was decided that the council would act when Sultan rose to the throne and his crown prince had to be named; however, it was not specified whether it would be used if Sultan died before the king. The choice of whether to evoke the council now will likely be made by Abdullah.

Saudi Arabia has been ruled since 1953 by the sons of its founder, King Abdul-Aziz, who had over 40 sons by multiple wives.

Anyone who rises to the throne is likely to maintain the kingdom's close alliance with the United States. But it would have an internal impact. Abdullah has been seen as a reformer, making cautious changes to improve the position of women — such as granting them to right to vote in elections scheduled for 2015 — and seeking modernize the kingdom despite some backlash from the ultraconservative Wahhabi clerics who give the royal family the religious legitimacy needed to rule. Nayef, however, is often seen as closer to the clerics.

Sultan's death comes amid questions about the health of the king. Last week, King Abdullah underwent back surgery in Riyadh. The SPA news agency said the operation was to treat a loose vertebra in his back. Abdullah also had two back surgeries late last year in New York City.

Sultan was part of the aging second generation of the King Abdul-Aziz's sons, including the 78-year-old Nayef.

Nayef has led an aggressive campaign against Islamic militants following the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks — in which 15 of the 19 hijackers were from Saudi Arabia — but he also has a reputation for close ties to the Saudi religious establishment. This could bring tensions within the Saudi leadership if Nayef is named crown prince, pitting those backing Abdullah's reform measures against those opposing any deviations to the kingdom's strict interpretations of Islam.

Nayef also maintains a hard line against regional rival, the Shiite power Iran, claiming earlier this year that Tehran was encouraging protests among Saudi Arabia's minority Shiites. Nayef was deeply involved in the kingdom's decision in March to send military forces into neighboring Bahrain to help crush pro-reform demonstrations led by tiny island nation's majority Shiites against its Sunni rulers — which Gulf Arab leaders accuse of having ties to Iran.

In August, Nayef accepted undisclosed libel damages from Britain's newspaper The Independent over an article which accused him of ordering police chiefs to shoot and kill unarmed demonstrators in Saudi Arabia.

Sultan was long seen as a powerful aspirant for the throne. When Fahd became king in 1982, Sultan had hoped to be named crown prince. But instead Fahd appointed their half-brother, Abdullah, a decision that Sultan challenged. The sons of Abdul-Aziz closed ranks when the issue was decided, aware that a direct confrontation with Abdullah could tear the family apart. Sultan was named second deputy prime minister, a position that guaranteed him the move to crown prince.

When Fahd died and Abdullah ascended to the throne, Sultan was named crown prince and heir.

Sultan was the kingdom's defense minister in 1990 when U.S. forces deployed in Saudi Arabia to defend it against Iraqi forces that had overrun Kuwait. His son, Prince Khaled, served as the top Arab commander in operation Desert Storm, in which U.S., Saudi and other Arab forces drove the Iraqis out of Kuwait.

In May 2004, the royal court announced that Sultan was discharged from a Jiddah hospital after an operation to remove a cyst from his intestines.

In a rare move, Saudi television showed footage of the prince, dressed in a traditional white robe and sitting in an armchair, receiving greetings from a number of Saudi dignitaries. A few days before that, state-guided media showed photos of the prince in his hospital bed, apparently to counter rumors about his health.

Sultan was born in Riyadh in 1928, according to the defense ministry's website. In 1947, he was appointed governor of Riyadh. At the same time, he was assisting his father in the setting up of a national administrative system based on the implementation of Islamic Sharia law. In 1953, he became the kingdom's first minister of agriculture.

Two years later, Sultan became minister of transportation, supervising the development of the kingdom's roads and telecommunications network and the construction of the railway system connecting the eastern city of Dammam with Riyadh, the capital.

As defense minister, Sultan closed multibillion deals to establish the modern Saudi armed forces, including land, air, naval and air defense forces.

On more than one occasion, the deals implicated several of his sons in corruption scandals — charges they have denied.

Sultan is survived by 32 children from multiple wives. They include Bandar, the former ambassador to the United States who now heads the National Security Council, and Khaled, Sultan's assistant in the Defense Ministry.

THE A - Z OF FRIENDSHIP

A FRIEND:

-Accepts you as you are.
-Believes in you.
-Calls you just to say Hi.
-Doesn't give up on you.
-Envisions the whole of you(even the unfinished parts).
-Forgives you all the time.
-Gives unconditionally.
-Helps you when in need.
-Ignores all your mistakes.
-Just wants to be with you all the time.
-Keeps you close to the heart always.
-Loves you for whom you are.
-Makes a difference in your life.
-Never judges u.
-Offers support.
-Picks you up.
-Quiets your fears.
-Raises your spirits.
-Says nice things about you.
-Tells you the truth when you need to hear it.
-Values you.
-Walks with you.
-Xplain things you do not understand.
-Yells at you when you do not want to listen.
-Zaps you back to reality

SECRETS OF SUCCESS IN LIFE

When I woke up this morning, I asked myself; What is life all about and what are some of the secrets of success in life? The answers were right there in the room:

1. The fan said - Be cool
2. The roof said - Aim high
3. The window said - See the world
4. The clock said - Every minute is precious
5. The mirror said - Reflect before you act
6. The calender said - Be up to date
7. The door said - Push hard for your goals

But the most important was this -
8. THE CARPET SAID: - KNEEL DOWN AND PRAY

A GIANT SHIP

A giant ship engine failed. The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine. 

Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was young. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom. 

Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed! 

A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for Ksh 250,000. 

"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!" 

So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill." 

The man sent a bill that read: 

Tapping with a hammer....... ........ ........ Ksh. 1000

Knowing where to tap......... ........ ......... Ksh. 249,000

Moral of the story is . . . . . . . . .... .. . Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort makes all the difference

"NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP."

Muhammad Yunus, a Bangladeshi Banker, an Economist, founder of Grameen Bank and the Nobel Peace Prize winner in 2006, said:

"Each of us has much more hidden inside us than we have had a chance to explore. Unless we create an environment that enables us to discover the limits of our potential, we will never know what we have inside of us."

Since the day a baby is born, it is the responsibility of the parents to mold the character and future of that child. No matter how we try to hide our behavior and activity at home, children can sense it; either it is positive or negative.

The biographies of great human beings, who contributed something in a positive way, have always been inspiration to many of us. By reading their trials and tribulations, we can all learn 'what needs to be followed' and 'what needs to be eliminated'.

When one is determined and focused to accomplish something worthwhile, many obstacles and challenges will arise on the way. As long as the goal is crystal clear and mind is determined to get it done, nothing can stop him or her.

I had a privilege to read the books by world famous author Orison Swett Marden while I was a young college student in Nepal. I love all his books and one of my favorite quotes from one of his books is: 

"All who have accomplished great things have had a great aim, have fixed their gaze on a goal which was high, one which sometimes seemed impossible."

Mr. Marden had a very humble beginning, even though he was born in America but with his hard work, passion, determination and by applying a 'never give up' attitude, he became a famous author and even today, his books are being read all over the world in many different languages.

Have we ever thought about the thing that makes us think? That is our brain. Scientists have proven that our human brain does 20,000 trillion calculations per second. I have always thought about it and want to know why people cannot think about something better for their life.

This is a very serious question and many of us always make a quick remark: "I am so busy, I don't have time to think. Life is crazy, so many bills to pay, health challenges, relationship challenges, bad economy..." and the list is endless.

Why waste such a powerful machine, in doing mundane work and not being a dreamer (not just a daydreamer), and work hard as well as smart?

Even after all the tremendous blessings, why do people still forget what they can do and instead, waste their most valuable life in so many unproductive activities?

These questions always bother me when I see talented young people, with so much potential ahead of them in life, just waste their time and energy following the wrong crowd or doing the things that make no sense at the end. Many times I've wondered if it could be that they didn't have the RIGHT EXAMPLE at home or that they couldn't find and follow a true mentor in life.

Many of us already know about Thomas Alva Edison, who invented more than 1,000 useful items and is the inventor of the electric light bulb.

He had his famous quote: "Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."

Edison never gave up on his dreams and goals.

Marie Curie is the first Scientist to win two Nobel Prizes (In Physics and in Chemistry ) even though she had been through so many challenges at home, in her childhood, in college and even after finishing college and university. She never gave up on her dream and invented Radium, the element that was used to treat cancer, known as Curietherapy or Radiumtherapy.

She said, "Life is not easy for any of us. We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained."

She was told that girls could not continue their education and that they were suppose to be housewives, taking care of the family and children. She knew her heart's desire and never listened to those negative voices, either from outside sources or from inside. She knew what she wanted, in the depth of her heart, and was willing to pay the price as she never believed in overnight success or any kind of shortcuts to success.

There is no other scientist who has received a Noble Prize twice. Not only that, she was a great role model for her daughter Irene Joliot-Curie, who also received a Nobel Prize.

We have the best example of 'Never Giving Up' in American History:

Abraham Lincoln. Here is the list of his failures before he became the US President in 1860:

Lost job, 1832

Defeated for legislature, 1832

Failed in business, 1833 

Elected to legislature, 1834 

Sweetheart (Ann Rutledge) died, 1835

Had nervous breakdown, 1836 

Defeated for Speaker, 1838

Defeated for nomination for Congress, 1843

Elected to Congress, 1846

Lost re-nomination, 1848

Rejected for Land Officer, 1849

Defeated for Senate, 1854

Defeated for nomination for Vice-President, 1856 

Again defeated for Senate, 1858

Abraham Lincoln was told many times that he was nobody and could be nobody in life by the committee of 'they' (those critics whose names are not found in any history books). We have not yet seen nor found the statues erected for the critics who see only the negative aspects of everything. It's just the way people look at things, either with optimism or pessimism.

Luck is defined as "Preparation meeting Opportunity". Abraham Lincoln believed in preparation before aiming at anything BIG and did whatever it took to get the dream accomplished. It is recorded in history books that Abraham Lincoln would go to schools on weekends and speak from the podium, as if the empty chairs were occupied by real people, because he was told that he needed to practice speaking in public.

Hard work as well as smart work, with a positive goal in mind, definitely brings success in any area of life.

Life is so good and beautiful. When we look around, there is so much peace, harmony, and beauty in nature that should give us a happy heart to appreciate everything. When I pause for a moment and think about so many people wasting their life in unproductive activities, it gives me so much pain that I wish I could individually sit with that person and spend some time telling him/her how valuable life is.

Sometimes I feel like shouting out loud from the tallest building and telling every human being, "You are the greatest miracle in the world. There is nothing that you can't achieve in life if you believe in it and do not waste your valuable time in destructive things. You are a walking, talking miracle. Just sit for few minutes and start counting the blessings you already have in your life, starting with: being alive, having eyes to look, a nose to breathe, ears to hear, a brain to think and the list goes on."

Here is a beautiful story I read about being remembered when one does not give up and accomplishes something useful that benefits humanity forever:

One day, a teacher was teaching a lesson to the class about never giving up and how history will remember those who never gave up.

She asked the students: "Did Abraham Lincoln ever give up?"

All the students replied, "No".

She asked them again, "Did Edison ever give up?"

Again the students replied, "No".

After mentioning couple of great heroes' names, she finally asked them, "Did Joe Doe give up?"

On that, all the students replied, "Who is Joe Doe?"

She said, "You don't know his name because he gave up."

Before we think there is nothing we can achieve that is useful, let's think twice, may be ten times, even a hundred or a thousand times and let's always remember this:

"NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP." 

BEING HAPPY: 17 TIMELESS SECRETS OF HAPPY PEOPLE

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

Leo Tolstoy

There are many ways for people to be unhappy, but happy people have common characteristics. That’s why a good way to be happy is to learn the common characteristics of happy people and apply them.

So I studied what the great minds in history say about being happy. I went through hundreds of quotes on being happy and extracted the best lessons out of them. Not only are these lessons useful, they are also timeless in nature.

Here I’d like to share what I learned with you. Without further ado, here are 17 timeless secrets of happy people:

1. Forget the past

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Rita Mae Brown

You won’t be happy if you carry the burden of the past. Did you make mistakes? Did you have terrible experiences? Whatever they are, you should let them go. There’s nothing you can do about the past, so you’d better let them go and focus your energy on the present.

2. Take responsibility for your life

The secret of Happiness is Freedom, and the secret of Freedom, Courage.

Thucydides

To be happy you should have freedom and the most essential freedom is the freedom to choose. No matter how bad a situation is, you can always choose how you respond to it. People can annoy you, but it’s up to you whether or not you will resent.

But, as the quote above says, freedom takes courage. Freedom to choose requires the courage to take responsibility for your life. You shouldn’t blame someone else when something goes wrong. Take the responsibility and you have the power to choose.

3. Build relationships

Life’s truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way.

Chris Michael Snr Jatelo

Relationships is where we can get true happiness in life. The reason is simple: only through relationships can we love and be loved. Make relationships your top priority and you are on your way to true happiness.

4. Develop multiple passions

The more passions and desires one has, the more ways one has of being happy.

Charlotte-Catherine

Passions lead you to happiness. So not only should you discover your multiple passions, you should also expand yourself to new passions. This way you will create new ways to happiness.

The key to expanding to new passions is curiosity. If you are curious, you will have an endless stream of exciting things waiting for you.

5. Build your character

Character is the basis of happiness and happiness the sanction of character.

George Santayana

Building your character is essential for happiness. When you are true to yourself and others, you will be in peace.

The way to start building character is by making promises and keeping them. For example, you make promise to yourself that you won’t smoke. When you keep it, you are building your character. Or you make promise to others to be punctual. When you keep it, you build your character.

6. Be who you are

The summit of happiness is reached when a person is ready to be what he is.

Desiderius Erasmus

You can only be happy if you become who you are. Don’t live other people’s life by trying to meet their expectations. People may expect you to have certain job or certain way of living but don’t be intimidated by them. Find who you are and be yourself.

7. Live your life purpose

The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose.

William Cowper

To have a fulfilling life, you should find your life purpose and follow it faithfully. Find what matters to you and build the courage to follow it. Having a one-liner will help you internalize and communicate your mission.

8. Count your blessings

Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.

Chris Michael Snr Jatelo

Being happy is easy if we are grateful. Unfortunately, seeing what we don’t have is often easier than seeing what we have. Sometimes we need to experience loss before appreciating what we have. So don’t take things for granted. Look at what you have and soon you will have plenty of reasons to be happy. You may start with these simple things.

9. Have positive mind

It is not the place, nor the condition, but the mind alone that can make anyone happy or miserable.

Roger L’Estrange

Happy people know how to control their mind. They don’t let negative thoughts come in. While a situation may seem bad to others, happy people look at them in a positive way. They always believe that no matter how bad a situation seems, there is always something positive to take from it. Your mind can make or break you, so guard it well.

10. Work creatively

Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

When you work creatively on something you will find happiness. There is a well-known phenomenon regarding this called flow. When you are in the state of flow, you are fully focused on the task at hand that you no longer realize the passage of time. This state of flow allows you to achieve high productivity and being happy at the same time. Here are some tips to achieve it.

11. Start with what you have

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.

James Oppenheim

Happy people don’t need something they don’t have to be happy. They don’t need certain job or certain level of income. Instead, they learn to be happy with what they already have. They have learned the art of contentment. Be content with what you have and you will be happy.

12. Change

They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.

Confucius

Being happy requires you to constantly grow. In fact, the process of learning itself is essential for happiness. Have you ever felt the excitement of being enlightened about something? Have you ever felt the excitement of achieving a new level in life? Top 10 Things You Should Change in Your Life gives you some practical tips on changing your life.

13. Use your talents

True happiness involves the full use of one’s power and talents.

Douglas Pagels

There are two lessons to take from this quote. First, you should find your talents and second, you should use them to the fullest. Working in your talents is a sure way to enjoy your work because it’s something you are “hardwired” to do. Using your talents fully will make you even happier because of the satisfaction of doing your best.

14. Beware of small things

The happiness of most people we know is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things.

Ernest Dimnet

This is very true. Often it’s not big things that ruin your happiness. It’s the small things that do. Perhaps you don’t like someone or break some “small” promises. But even small leaks can sink your ship of happiness, so beware of them.

15. Distill your ambitions

Where ambition ends happiness begins.

Chris Michael Snr Jatelo

While wanting to achieve more in your life is good, being obsessed by it is not. Do your best to improve yourself but don’t be obsessed by it.

16. Make others happy

Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is my favorite secret of happiness. The way to being happy is to make others happy first. The more you help other people and make them happy, the more you will be happy. Happiness doesn’t come through selfishness but through selflessness. You reap what you sow.

17. Practice compassion

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

The Dalai Lama

Compassion is perhaps the highest level of selflessness we could have. As this quote aptly says, practicing compassion can make both others and you happy.

But of course, it requires practice. Start with thinking about the people around you. Look at their needs and find ways to meet them. Even if you don’t do it out of compassion in the beginning, your compassion will grow over time.

***

All in all, this quote by Aristotle can summarize the lessons above:

Happiness depends upon ourselves.

It’s you who decide whether or not you are happy in life.

I choose to be happy. What about you?

BUTTERFLY by McSanto Jatelo

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon.

The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If God allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us.

We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly!

I asked for Strength......... 
And God gave me Difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for Wisdom......... 
And God gave me Problems to solve.

I asked for Prosperity......... 
And God gave me Brain and Brawn to work.

I asked for Courage......... 
And God gave me Danger to overcome.

I asked for Love......... 
And God gave me Troubled people to help.

I asked for Favors......... 
And God gave me Opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted ........ 
I received everything I needed!

Trust in God. Always ![